FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
From The Locker Room To The Library: Coach Ron Alvey Releases His Debut Book, A Bathroom Read For The Ages
Irving, Texas – March 24, 2026 – He’s coached them, he’s taught them, and now, he’s finally written about them. Ron Alvey—beloved middle school PE teacher, self-proclaimed “highly underpaid 1%er,” and future presidential candidate—has officially entered the literary world with his hilarious and unfiltered debut book.
“Have You Ever Issued a 7th Grader Football Pads?” is now available, and it is exactly what it sounds like: a chaotic, laugh-out-loud journey through the mind of a man who has spent decades corralling hormonal adolescents.
Described as “a seriously funny book to read while you do business in the bathroom,” this collection of stories and observations is not your typical memoir. It is raw, it is real, and it comes straight from the creative (and admittedly “dirty”) mind of a career educator who has seen it all. From the smell of a middle school locker room to the impossible task of teaching coordination to sixth graders, Coach Alvey holds nothing back.
“This book isn’t for some stuffy literary critic sitting in a library,” Alvey said. “This is for the parent who needs a five-minute escape. This is for the teacher who needs to laugh so they don’t cry. This is for anyone who has ever tried to explain to a seventh grader why deodorant is not optional. Read it on the throne. Read it at the beach. Just read it and laugh.”
Fans of Coach Alvey’s straight-talking, no-filter style will feel right at home in these pages. It is a must-read for educators, sports parents, and anyone who survived middle school with their sanity somewhat intact.
“Have You Ever Issued a 7th Grader Football Pads?” is available now at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and all major online retailers. It can also be found at major bookstores nationwide. Pick up a copy today—your bathroom has been waiting for this.
About Ron Alvey
Ron Alvey has spent decades in the trenches of public education as a middle school coach and PE teacher, earning him the title of “least underpaid 1%er” in America. When he’s not running for President on a platform of love, equality, and taxing billionaires, he’s running laps with kids who forgot their gym shorts. A proud member of Unity Church of Dallas, Ron believes in laughter, inclusion, and the undeniable fact that seventh graders are absolutely unhinged. This is his first book, written entirely from the bathroom. Follow his journey to the White House—or at least to a bookseller near you.
